Mind you: all of this was written after a frustrating day at school.
I have a calling
It might sound crazy, but I do, and I know exactly what it is
I am being called to make a difference
To shine a glimmer of sunlight to this dark and deranged world
To add a spark to the everyday dreariness of life
The ridiculous and rigorous and repeated schedule that every one of us lives everyday
I hate it
I hate knowing exactly what each day is going to be like
I love surprises and unexpectedness, even though I myself love to plan things out
One would expect for me to want a laid back, happy, quiet life
Including a wonderful husband, beautiful children, and a brick house with a picket fence
To be well provided for and loving life…..that is what you would think
I want adventure
I want to see the world
I want to meet new people
I want to impact people
I want to have meaningful relationships
I hate shallow ones where you say hi and there is that awkward silence of nothingness
I love challenging myself
I want to sing and write and speak
I want people to know the power of my Savior!
I want to serve others
Bring smiles to people’s faces
I want people’s respect for what I have to say
I want my life to count!
I want people to know me for who I am-a sold out Jesus Freak
Yes, that is what I am
I constantly feel restrained from my full potential by the constant unnecessary drama of high school
I hate it
I am sick of people
I am sick of the clichés and the judgments and the gossip
I do not want to be tied down to this world by people’s opinions-but I am
I do not want to be held back by anything-but I am
I hate feeling trapped inside this cage of uncaring people
I want someone to see how I am and promise to be there for forever and not leave
For once
Just once
I guess these dark valleys always tend to point back to my First and Only Love
My Jesus
The man who endured the hardships of life and was able to overcome it all
Who loves me unconditionally and will never let me go
That accepts me just the way I am
The one who will never leave me out
Because honestly, I hate fitting in
Sure, sometimes I would like for people to understand me and for me to break down all my walls
But I am not like that
I don’t trust people enough
I get hurt easily
I want my life to be a living testimony of God’s love
I want people to see His grace when I forgive them
See his gentleness and humility
I have passion
I have a spark
It is a fire that has been growing in me consistently
It is because of my Savior
I am tired of feeling alone-but if You can use it Lord, I will endure
I will press on
I will wait for my real home
In heaven
Where only You matter
Where I will not become sidetracked by all the stupid things of this world
All the temptations and tricks
The sneers and sobs
The crime and crap
Because You reign
I know You will use me
I want to make a huge impact one life at a time
No comments:
Post a Comment