Snow is wonderful! Especially when it allows you to sleep for twelve hours and finally feel rested. While doing devotions this morning and reading through Romans 9 I came across a few wonderful verses...
Romans 9:20-21, "But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? "Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, 'Why did you make me like this?'" Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for ocmmon use?
It was like a slap across my face. Truely. Just the day before, my best friend and I had spoken about how I have to focus on changing myself and I cannot change other people. (check out my previous post for my frustration) More importantly, we spoke about the need for a change in my self-confidence (which I have none of). Being a teenage girl it is not unheard of to be very unconfident, but my case is pretty bad. It flows into my relationships with other people and it is quite unhealthy. She recently told me, "GOD MADE U BEAUTIFUL AND TO DENY IT IS LIKE SAYING GOD'S CREATION IS DISGUSTING. NO YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL AND YOU ARE GOING TO BELIEVE IT!" Quite profound right? I just have not been able to wrap my mind around it. Then this morning, at just the right time, I just so happened to stumble across those verses. What a God moment. He always provides.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
The Rantings of A Frustrated High School Student
Mind you: all of this was written after a frustrating day at school.
I have a calling
It might sound crazy, but I do, and I know exactly what it is
I am being called to make a difference
To shine a glimmer of sunlight to this dark and deranged world
To add a spark to the everyday dreariness of life
The ridiculous and rigorous and repeated schedule that every one of us lives everyday
I hate it
I hate knowing exactly what each day is going to be like
I love surprises and unexpectedness, even though I myself love to plan things out
One would expect for me to want a laid back, happy, quiet life
Including a wonderful husband, beautiful children, and a brick house with a picket fence
To be well provided for and loving life…..that is what you would think
I want adventure
I want to see the world
I want to meet new people
I want to impact people
I want to have meaningful relationships
I hate shallow ones where you say hi and there is that awkward silence of nothingness
I love challenging myself
I want to sing and write and speak
I want people to know the power of my Savior!
I want to serve others
Bring smiles to people’s faces
I want people’s respect for what I have to say
I want my life to count!
I want people to know me for who I am-a sold out Jesus Freak
Yes, that is what I am
I constantly feel restrained from my full potential by the constant unnecessary drama of high school
I hate it
I am sick of people
I am sick of the clichés and the judgments and the gossip
I do not want to be tied down to this world by people’s opinions-but I am
I do not want to be held back by anything-but I am
I hate feeling trapped inside this cage of uncaring people
I want someone to see how I am and promise to be there for forever and not leave
For once
Just once
I guess these dark valleys always tend to point back to my First and Only Love
My Jesus
The man who endured the hardships of life and was able to overcome it all
Who loves me unconditionally and will never let me go
That accepts me just the way I am
The one who will never leave me out
Because honestly, I hate fitting in
Sure, sometimes I would like for people to understand me and for me to break down all my walls
But I am not like that
I don’t trust people enough
I get hurt easily
I want my life to be a living testimony of God’s love
I want people to see His grace when I forgive them
See his gentleness and humility
I have passion
I have a spark
It is a fire that has been growing in me consistently
It is because of my Savior
I am tired of feeling alone-but if You can use it Lord, I will endure
I will press on
I will wait for my real home
In heaven
Where only You matter
Where I will not become sidetracked by all the stupid things of this world
All the temptations and tricks
The sneers and sobs
The crime and crap
Because You reign
I know You will use me
I want to make a huge impact one life at a time
I have a calling
It might sound crazy, but I do, and I know exactly what it is
I am being called to make a difference
To shine a glimmer of sunlight to this dark and deranged world
To add a spark to the everyday dreariness of life
The ridiculous and rigorous and repeated schedule that every one of us lives everyday
I hate it
I hate knowing exactly what each day is going to be like
I love surprises and unexpectedness, even though I myself love to plan things out
One would expect for me to want a laid back, happy, quiet life
Including a wonderful husband, beautiful children, and a brick house with a picket fence
To be well provided for and loving life…..that is what you would think
I want adventure
I want to see the world
I want to meet new people
I want to impact people
I want to have meaningful relationships
I hate shallow ones where you say hi and there is that awkward silence of nothingness
I love challenging myself
I want to sing and write and speak
I want people to know the power of my Savior!
I want to serve others
Bring smiles to people’s faces
I want people’s respect for what I have to say
I want my life to count!
I want people to know me for who I am-a sold out Jesus Freak
Yes, that is what I am
I constantly feel restrained from my full potential by the constant unnecessary drama of high school
I hate it
I am sick of people
I am sick of the clichés and the judgments and the gossip
I do not want to be tied down to this world by people’s opinions-but I am
I do not want to be held back by anything-but I am
I hate feeling trapped inside this cage of uncaring people
I want someone to see how I am and promise to be there for forever and not leave
For once
Just once
I guess these dark valleys always tend to point back to my First and Only Love
My Jesus
The man who endured the hardships of life and was able to overcome it all
Who loves me unconditionally and will never let me go
That accepts me just the way I am
The one who will never leave me out
Because honestly, I hate fitting in
Sure, sometimes I would like for people to understand me and for me to break down all my walls
But I am not like that
I don’t trust people enough
I get hurt easily
I want my life to be a living testimony of God’s love
I want people to see His grace when I forgive them
See his gentleness and humility
I have passion
I have a spark
It is a fire that has been growing in me consistently
It is because of my Savior
I am tired of feeling alone-but if You can use it Lord, I will endure
I will press on
I will wait for my real home
In heaven
Where only You matter
Where I will not become sidetracked by all the stupid things of this world
All the temptations and tricks
The sneers and sobs
The crime and crap
Because You reign
I know You will use me
I want to make a huge impact one life at a time
Monday, January 3, 2011
2011 Already
The past year has passed by way too quickly.
It was like I blinked and BAM I was counting down to the new year. I looked back at all the memories, the good and bad. I looked at all the friendships that had fallen apart and all the walls that I had built up. I looked at the mistakes. I also looked at the incredible things God has done in my life and the people and experiences He has blessed me with. Yes, there has beena lot of change in my life....I feel like a different person than I was a year ago. Sure, I still have some of the same problems, but some of them have seemed to fall away. New ones have come, but I have a confidence in the Lord of my life that He can handle them.
It is about time that I give Him absolute control.
There is too much stress in life. Too many regrets. Too much drama. Too many tears. Too much selfishness. The list goes on and on.
This year I want to challenge myself.
My motives, my mind, my spirit, my body, my values, my friendships. I know that if I challenge them that they will grow stronger. I am ready for a a year of growth. I am tired of the day to day stuff. I want to change things. One life at a time. One action at a time. One moment at a time. All because Christ has changed mine. Mind you, I definitley cannot do all of this without His strength and wisdom. I need Him, but that is already a given.
So here we go 2011, are you ready? Because I am.
It was like I blinked and BAM I was counting down to the new year. I looked back at all the memories, the good and bad. I looked at all the friendships that had fallen apart and all the walls that I had built up. I looked at the mistakes. I also looked at the incredible things God has done in my life and the people and experiences He has blessed me with. Yes, there has beena lot of change in my life....I feel like a different person than I was a year ago. Sure, I still have some of the same problems, but some of them have seemed to fall away. New ones have come, but I have a confidence in the Lord of my life that He can handle them.
It is about time that I give Him absolute control.
There is too much stress in life. Too many regrets. Too much drama. Too many tears. Too much selfishness. The list goes on and on.
This year I want to challenge myself.
My motives, my mind, my spirit, my body, my values, my friendships. I know that if I challenge them that they will grow stronger. I am ready for a a year of growth. I am tired of the day to day stuff. I want to change things. One life at a time. One action at a time. One moment at a time. All because Christ has changed mine. Mind you, I definitley cannot do all of this without His strength and wisdom. I need Him, but that is already a given.
So here we go 2011, are you ready? Because I am.
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